Free at last

Thank god almighty I am free at last.

It's been about 8 full months since the last time I walked through the doors of my mormon church. Eight wonderful months. Sundays are so refreshing now :-)

I've never felt so free of all the emotional, guilt-ridden, hyper-religious reality in my whole life. I'm finally free from their grasp, and it feels good. It feels great.

I'm in a situation now in my life where I make the calls; I decide what is good and what is bad; I decide what I should do with my life and how I do it. Not god, not the spirit, not the brethern, not my culture, and not my church. Can you imagine the freedom? Can you imagine what that feels like?

Whenever I get some guys from the elders quorum over I usually ask them when was the last time they can remember that they made a decision for themselves, not for Jesus, the spirit, their wives, their mothers, their church, but just because they wanted to do it. Usually, they have to think long and hard, because they don't even realize how much they have given away to others.

I'm still in Provo. I plan to move relatively soon, but after I've stopped my attendance at church and BYU, Provo has grown on me. I like it here, at least until Winter comes.